i love accidental penises.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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