the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She told me I should be a condom model.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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