i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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