wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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