the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize