I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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