I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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