We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
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Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
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Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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