what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
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You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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