ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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