you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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