Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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