do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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