I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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