Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize