S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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