Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.

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  (850): Miracle whip is the devil's jizz. http://tfl.nu/kavw
  Replies (16) Good night (1340) Bad night (1783) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.

  (1-714): View more from California

  yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...

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  (714): so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen. (1-714): yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed... http://tfl.nu/69pu
  Replies (91) Good night (938) Bad night (2474)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?

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  (919): Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/378f
  Replies (18) Good night (2063) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach

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  (813): he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach http://tfl.nu/e6go
  Replies (25) Good night (2910) Bad night (2714) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience

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  (248): so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience http://tfl.nu/77ps
  Replies (16) Good night (679) Bad night (4136) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting

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  (716): Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting http://tfl.nu/p9om
  Replies (9) Good night (2721) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.

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  (307): He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him. http://tfl.nu/54ly
  Replies (7) Good night (3705) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.

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  (202): Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes. http://tfl.nu/57eb
  Replies (50) Good night (2295) Bad night (5332)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?

  (419): View more from Ohio

  That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.

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  (717): So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter? (419): That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing. http://tfl.nu/cjzf
  Replies (1) Good night (1316) Bad night (601)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.

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  (336): I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years. http://tfl.nu/1nws
  Replies (18) Good night (1289) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.

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  (603): He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring. http://tfl.nu/jkgq
  Replies (7) Good night (565) Bad night (1046) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??

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  (613): What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand?? http://tfl.nu/viz5
  Replies (24) Good night (569) Bad night (1358) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."

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  (214): I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum." http://tfl.nu/4ufr
  Replies (21) Good night (721) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.

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  (423): What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there. (1-423): Call it what you want. You fucked a girl. http://tfl.nu/1fty
  Replies (5) Good night (1810) Bad night (613)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me

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  (425): I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me http://tfl.nu/4rz8
  Replies (4) Good night (554) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt

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