Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize