You can't motorboat a personality
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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