you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize