I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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