I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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