she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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