Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize