I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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