i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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