This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize