2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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