OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize