You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize