Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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