i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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