I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize