yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
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i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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