I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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