Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize