I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
only you would photoshop your dick
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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