Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize