You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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