the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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