Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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