I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
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And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
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He finger blasted me like an angel dude
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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