How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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