So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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