Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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