I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize