How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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