like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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