He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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