Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize